Dad

I know some weren't able to be at the service today so I'm sharing what I wrote and read for my dad today.

How do I sum up my dad? He taught me so much and I have been so blessed to have the relationship with my dad and with my family that I do. I am who I am because of the way he raised me and because of the role model that he has always been for me. 

My dad was my biggest supporter and encourager, sometimes just listening, sometimes just saying a few words that made all the difference. When I started writing my blog, I knew he read every word. When I recently switched jobs, he listened as I talked and let me know I was doing the right thing. Even when I made mistakes, I knew he loved me anyway.

My dad was a quiet man who thought about what he said before he said it. So, when he spoke, I listened. But, just when you least expected it, his dry sense of humor would come out! 

In these last few weeks, my dad wanted to make sure that everyone knew that even in this time, he hadn’t lost his sense of humor! All of the nurses and staff, the family and friends who visited, and anyone around him were all gifted with his words of wisdom and stories. He told us we could use them all for his funeral. I told him that the funeral would last 10 hours! With a smile he said “well, I think I’m worth it!” I agreed. So, sit back, relax, and get comfortable! Just kidding!

My dad loved his family. We never had any doubt. He and my mom were married for 47 wonderful years and had a relationship that gave my sister and me an example of what our marriages should be like. They loved each other, took care of each other, and enjoyed spending time together. I remember as a kid, whenever my dad worked out of town, he called my mom every night. He always filled the car with gas so my mom wouldn’t have to do it. He did so many things to show his love for my mom.

Just this past summer, we spent a week at a family reunion enjoying several of the things he loved best. Family, vacation, and time on the water. 

For 2 years, my dad had talked about the previous reunion when he was about to go on a jetski ride but couldn’t because the weather shifted. So, he was determined that this would be the time! And it was! At 84, my dad had a blast riding the jetski on Lake Ontario, waving to us as he and my cousin flew by! Afterwards, he decided since he already had his suit on, it was time for a swim. I’m not a fan of the cold water, but if my dad could do it, I figured I could top. So, together, we hung out swimming in the lake. After that, we warmed up in the hot tub. What a day that was! What joy my dad had remembering that time and telling people of his adventure!

Every summer, we would spend a lot of weekends camping! We had so much fun in our little trailer! Vacations spent at Dewey Lake were a part of our childhood that I will always treasure. In later years, they had a pop-up trailer and would go camping with a group from the church. When they weren’t out with them, they enjoyed going out to leisure lakes to sit outside by the lake.

My dad also loved God and his church. His faith in God was something I always looked up to. When I was younger, I remember my dad looking for a job after the machine shop closed. He would go to seminars that talked about things to do to help find a job. He was told not to put any of his church involvement in his resume. My dad didn’t agree with this and kept it in there. When he found a job, his boss told him that was one of the reasons he stood out. His boss was a Gideon and I know God put my dad there with a boss who was also a Christian. That impacted me so much and has been an example for me to follow. Never deny faith in God, and live out that faith by serving others. 

Each night as my dad would pray at dinner, he would say “bless this food to our bodies and us to thy service.” In his last weeks, he was troubled that he felt he was no longer serving God. I told him there were different ways to serve and sometimes the way to serve was to let others serve or learn from him. He told me I sounded like a church worker and we both laughed. 

Dad was always serving at the church in some way or another, as an elder, in the choir, and even as interim director for the choir and bell choir, among other things. More recently, he spent countless hours as the treasurer for the church. Serving God by serving others was just natural for me to do because it’s how we grew up. 

My dad was a perfectionist… especially when it came to mowing the lawn and trimming the bushes. I remember working outside for what seemed like forever growing up. Recently, when I would go to my parents and do yardwork, my dad would come outside with me and bring a lawn chair and sit down while I worked. At first I thought it was the perfectionist in him coming out to make sure I did things right, but I realized it wasn’t that. He just wanted to sit out there with me. Outside worktime was also much shorter than when I was growing up. After maybe an hour, he would say, “I think you’ve gotten a lot done. We should go inside now.” I would think to myself that I wanted to stay outside and do more (afterall, I got my perfectionist tendencies from him) but I would go inside with him, thinking that I wished working outside was this short when I was a kid! 

He loved music! He would listen to songs on the radio and direct from his seat because he remembered directing that piece when he was in band in high school. He loved Sousa marches, classical music, hymns and choral music. I remember singing in the Messiah and when we would get to the Amen chorus, I knew I couldn’t look at my dad because he would be teary, which would make me teary, which made singing the Amen chorus pretty difficult. In his last days, we played music to comfort and relax him. 

When Rafael was born, my dad was so excited to be a grandpa! We went to Bakers Square for dinner the night before Rafael was born. I felt like I was having contractions but I wanted heath bar pie so I didn’t mention it. Afterwards, my dad decided we would stop at Menards so I thought I better let them know. Who knows how long he’d spend there! I told them. We went anyway, but probably didn’t stay long. When we got to the hospital, the engineer in my dad came out. He was fascinated by the machine that told us when a contraction was coming. So, he told me whenever I was getting one. (in case I didn’t know, I guess ;) ) Always using his engineering mind! 

The last time Rafael went to see him, as Rafael was leaving, my dad worked to get his hand out from under the blankets, no longer an easy thing for him to do, so that he could shake Rafael’s hand. So much was said in that handshake.

Dad built Rafael a puppet stage, a swingset, and made many beautiful things out of wood throughout his life. He loved figuring out how to make things… and we could be assured he was going to use his cad program! He even used it to create blank templates for his sudoku game he did every day.   

His illness was quick and I spent 2 weeks in shock at what was happening. But, I am so grateful that even in his last days, my dad knew what was going on, had his mind, had his sense of humor, and had his faith in God. And he knee that we loved him.

I am so grateful for the faith and love for God that my parents raised me to learn and know. Being raised in a home where God was just a part of our everyday lives was a blessing I can't begin to explain. And, in times like this, I am assured of a God who loves me and my family, and right now, even more important to me, I am assured that my God prepared a wonderful place for my dad. When he arrived, he no longer felt pain. Talking just last week, my dad quoted from the Bible of God preparing a place and that in heaven there would be no more tears. Knowing that my dad has this peace and knowing that he is with Jesus gives me some comfort. 

I love you dad! See you when I get there!