Comfort

 Tomorrow is November 1st. A year ago, that would have meant so much less than now. A  year ago, I was helping my parents decide where to move, figuring out that things were about to change, but at peace knowing that it was a decision my family was making together. Then, all that changed. 

My family didn't get to make the decision. It was made for us when my dad was diagnosed with 3 brain tumors last November. This on top of an upcoming scary heart surgery for my father-in-law made life a blur. I am grateful for the time spent with family during those times and am grateful for the memories. I am also grateful for the blessings that came when my father-in-law's surgery was successful. But, none of it was what I expected to happen last November.

Through that experience, there were times that my grief overtook me. There were times that God was so present in my surroundings that it overwhelmed me. There was such an outpouring of love and I don't know if I would have gotten through without it. 

As I write this, I remember the times I poured my heart out in the words I typed and how it helped me to process all of those things... grief, God, love...and the holidays. 

I learned so much during that time and the months to follow. I learned I didn't really understand at all. You know, those times we say I'm sorry and I understand what you're going through? Yeah... I didn't really until I went through it myself. And once I knew that, it pushed me to use what I had learned. So, when 2020 arrived, I chose my scripture verse and word for the year as I had done for several years before. I decided that it was ok to continue grieving and also comfort others in grief. My word for the year was ok. It came with many meanings... it's ok to not be ok, I'm trying to be ok. Something like that. My scripture verse for the year was Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." That, too, had several meanings... finding comfort through my mourning, giving comfort to others who mourned now that I knew the devastation it could bring.

This verse has followed me throughout the year; maybe it's better to say this verse has led me throughout the year. That remains true now in ways I never expected! Recently, a friend contacted me asking if I was interested in an on-call chaplain position. At first I thought I'm not qualified for that since I'm not a pastor. But, I asked for more details anyway. As I listened to what the job would be, I thought this is something I can do and am more qualified because of my experiences than any reason I could think of to doubt myself. This is a way I can fulfill Matthew 5:4 in a very real way as God is leading me to do. Then, the words came into my head "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." Then, the Sunday school I am in is doing the beatitudes and right after this became an idea I was trying to figure out, They began their week focused on Matthew 5:4. And there it was- God's messages for me. This is something I had to try to do... if it was meant to be, it would happen. If there is a way I could bring comfort to others as I had been comforted, I had to try.

All of this to say, I will soon be starting a position as an on-call chaplain at the local hospital! This won't change any of my other jobs or activities. I love my clients and the church I work at and everything else I do! But, I am really looking forward to exploring this new mission God has called me to!

Never would I have thought a year ago that this would be my journey. But, God has a way of surprising us in the most awesome ways when we least expect it!

So, where was God in this time? He was walking next to me, sometimes carrying me, sometimes leading me, always encouraging me, always comforting me.

Blessings,

Jennifer