Grief

 

At first, the trip was going to be in the summer. But then the dates changed to the fall. It happens to be a very significant time for me.

I arrive in Spain on my dad’s birthday. It will be his 5th birthday without him. I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately and missing him a lot. The other day, I was trying to figure something out and my first thought was that I should call him! It’s been over 5 years and I still pick up the phone wanting to talk! I think I’m missing him even more right now because it’s almost his birthday. But, also, I’m missing him because I wish I could share this excitement with him… tell him about my adventure… talk about how I’m getting ready! I miss our times together. 

It seems the time leading up to anniversaries is sometimes harder than the actual day for me. My mom passed almost a year ago. The anniversary of her passing is the day I arrive home. I miss my mom and going through her things in the last few years has made me see how much of my faith has come from her. I wish I could have had a chance to talk to her about some of the things I found- devotions she wrote, Bible studies she did, lesson plans for Sunday school. I expect this month to be filled with thoughts and memories of my mom as I continue to grieve for her. Taking this walk and focusing on my spiritual journey, I wish I could talk about it with my mom. 

I hope this walk will help me on my journey of grieving my parents and I find it amazing that it begins and ends with these significant dates in my life. It helps me to feel them supporting me along the way. 

So where was God?

He was in the planning and in my journey of grief, giving me hope and comfort.

Blessings,

Jennifer