We're 3 days into the new year. So far, it doesn't seem much different than 2020. But, I'm hopeful that it will be a better year than most experienced in 2020.
Last January, life was a daily struggle as I had just said goodbye to my dad after a sudden and quick illness. My goal was to try to be ok most of the time. I decided to use "ok" as my word and to use what I had recently learned the hard way about dealing with grief. I don't believe there is another way to learn that because no matter how many people tell you, nobody can explain the pain and sadness that comes from losing a parent. So, I chose "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." as my scripture verse.
Since I started choosing a word and scripture for the year, some years they have been more impactful than others. This past year, they both impacted me in great ways. I decided to focus on self- care in an effort to help myself be ok. For the first 8 weeks of 2020, I had a weekly challenge until by week 8 I had 8 new habits added to my routine. Some of them included ending drinking pop, running regularly, and eating healthier. Some stuck better than others, but they all helped me become more aware of myself and ways I could treat myself better.
My scripture verse reminded me that I could and should both give and receive comfort for the sadness experienced from loss. I had no idea at the beginning of 2020 how much the verse would impact my life. In October, I began thinking seriously about becoming a chaplain. My first official on-call shift was on the anniversary of my dad's passing. While I haven't had to go in yet, I am ready and have regular on-call shifts. In fact, I'm on a 24 hour on-call shift right now.
That brings me to 2021. With the success of the word and scripture last year, it brings a little added pressure to choose just the right word and scripture for the year ahead. I started thinking of what I needed to focus on as the new year approached. What kept coming back to me is that I really needed to make sure to include was worship and my always present struggle to not get so busy that I lose time with God or the people I love.
My verse became clear pretty quickly. "Be still and know that I am God", Psalm 46:10. Honestly, that could have been my verse years earlier but I can't be sure. It just seemed right so I figured that didn't matter. Focusing on time to be still, to listen to God, to remind myself that in everything, God is there and I can trust in Him all surround this verse in my head. Then, cool things started happening. I saw this verse everywhere. A friend gave me a wood block with scriptures on it and when I looked into the bad, this scripture was right there. I found something I had written at the beginning of lockdown when I got my cool new markers. Yep, you guessed it! This verse! So, I felt reassured that this was it.
My word was a different story. Nothing jumped out at me. Although I wanted some focus on worship, I didn't think worship was the right word. I want to focus on worship for several reasons. First, it's easy to get out of the habit when we are alone and can put worship off since it's on YouTube anytime. Saying we will watch later isn't the same as actually watching later. I need to be mindful of that. Of course, this pandemic will end and we will all be able to go back to church to worship soon. Only, I won't. Sundays are part of my time with my mom and while I hope we can go back to church together, I fear those days might have ended. So, I will need to continue the YouTube version of worship even after the pandemic.
I discussed it with my friend/ accountability partner and in conversation, I heard the word "aware" and it jumped out at me. But, after thinking about it, I still couldn't get it to quite fit. I like the word and maybe I have come up with my word for 2022 already. But, it wasn't quite what I wanted for 2021. I decided to turn to the expert. I googled word of the year, one little word, and still came up empty. So, I decided to google synonyms of worship. And there it was right in front of me! My word of the year jumped out and said here I am! Devotion! Although a synonym of worship, it has the more inclusive nature I was searching for. Although I have a goal to be devoted to God and worship, I also have a goal to have devotion to my family, to my friends, and to myself.
In the sermon today, the pastor mentioned other forms of the practice of words for the year. Some don't choose a word, but rather have one chosen for them. Some churches even send out random words to their congregation. I find that interesting and I thin it brings a whole new aspect of the practice. It gives people a way to randomly put a focus to the year ahead in exciting and unforeseeable ways. If the thought of having a word or a verse interest you, but the thought of choosing a word seems daunting, this might be the way to go, at least the first year. I encourage you to think about the year ahead and what you want to see happen in your life and in the lives of those around you, what areas do you need to work on and what areas excite you. Most of all, I wish you blessings and hope for 2021!
Where was God in this? I think He definitely helped me in 2020 to be ok, and to be comforted as well as to comfort others. And, I know He helped me to choose my focus for 2021.
Jennifer
